You're always captivated between four thick walls and those walls are the concrete barriers of your mind; no one will ever be able to breach those defences, not even in your greatest attempts to fortify your other true minds great passion for you. Everything you do, say, think or feel is all en-caged behind your eyes, the windows to the soul is nothing less than the truth except these windows are impeded by you and only you. Doesn't that make you feel alone? That no hero will come rushing in desperation to delineate your deepest thoughts for they aren't ever in a rush to infiltrate your mind. Doesn't that scare you? For we can conjure up the worlds greatest sentence structures and whisper the most extensive of vocabulary in the most endearing, amorous attitude manageable but no one will ever truly understand the full capacity of which you feel, think and know to be true today. And yesterday. And tomorrow. Doesn't that just make you feel trapped? We're all creatures cornered into the overcast, pro-founded tunnels of our mind with no way out but verbal recognition. But who even listens, right?
"Are you ready?" My Father whispered with a reassuring smile, he tucked his right arm through my left and placed his free hand gently over my forearm, giving it a little squeeze. Closing my eyes I could feel my heart in my throat, my lungs aching for air that just wouldn't reach my lips. Blood gushed through my veins rapidly and I was afraid everyone could hear it if they listened closely enough, but to my relief the music started dancing through the grass, chairs, people and sky, obscuring ears from the fear richochetting through my body. “I'm...ready” I wheezed back and inhaled slowly in staggered stages, feeling my lungs collapse in gratitude for the oxygen.
Suddenly, I could feel the force of my Fathers arm in my mine pulling me forward and before I had time to think we were walking. In attempts to control my nerves and ignore the burning sensation of a hundred eyes boring into my skin, I kept my eyes transfixed to the beautiful arch drenched with purple and teal flowers. Ribbons of similar shades twirled and spiralled towards the pristine white stage and some even shared kisses with the perfectly green blades of grass that were leaning up for a taste of infatuation. To say I had dreamed of this day a thousand times over would be an understatement, it was a burning desire of mine to be loved...just like this. Half way down the aisle, that's probably when I allowed my eyes to fall on you. Catching my breath short I felt my heart fall from my throat back into my chest as you calmed my equilibrium, you were tantalizingly beautiful. Dark, brunette hair combed back perfectly, yet framing your face so effortlessly; wearing a suit with a smart teal tie to compliment my flower scheme. And those eyes, like dark oceans I was drowning in forever. I was completely and utterly in love with you, it was the kind of love that makes you feel drunk when sober, the kind of love that drives you crazy yet keeps sane and the kind of love that I was born to live for. Prevailing with you was never a dream to me, it was reality, it was my life. You smiled at me, I remember, but there was an undertone of sadness as I finally reached the alter and the music danced slowly to a stop. Before he lifted my veil, I took one last look at you, there in the front row watching, one last glance under the protection of my netting in order to allow myself to feel regret one last time. And then he kissed me. Some-days are worse than others
On the rainless, it won’t go unnoticed But during storms it’ll almost, completely drown you. And that has to be, the cruellest part. The ‘almost’ It’s so hard… Not to think it’d be easier Losing myself, giving myself I've tried to run. I've tried to run, Escape is almost futile And that has to be, the cruellest part… Almost. |
Creative Writing"You write so beautifully, your mind must be a terrible place" Archives
March 2017
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