I fell in love with my once ago best friend. “I chose to be your friend, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control” And I don't regret it. I don't regret how I acted, or the outcome. “I thank you, for your part in my journey”
Probably one of the most common questions I ever receive is about someone having fallen in love with their best friend and being unsure what to do about it. I've personally, had a best friend fall in love with me, maybe on more than one occasion. It always used to confuse because I had never fallen for one of my best friends before; so when these questions always used to flood in or I'd find myself in the middle of someone else’s uncontrollable hurricane of feelings – I used to think, I'm glad to an extent it's not me. Because what do you do in those situations? Some argue falling in love with your best friend is one of the most amazing things that could ever happen to you because it always works out perfectly, I know people like this who have been together for years. Personally, I have tried dating a best friend (despite not being in love) and it just doesn't work for me. So some argue that it doesn't work – and as an heart-breaking outcome, you lose your best friend. So...what the hell did I do?
I have been someone who always believes that if you like someone, you have to tell them. We have such short lives on a larger perspective; and to spend these lives on unsaid words and missed moments has to be such a waste of time. I never want to go through life knowing I missed a moment or left some words in the dust, despite the outcome I need to know either way. So with these situations, I always advise people to speak up. If you're best friends beforehand and they don't feel the same, the likelihood is that you'll still be friends afterwards, if they really care. If they didn't care and you guys weren't friends after you poured your heart out, then you need to question as to whether it was a true friendship. Words are so fucking amazing; these special moments we can seize with something so simplistic as 26 letters has intrigued me for as long as I can remember which is why I so badly want to be a writer. It can make such a massive change. This is the advise I give for these situations each and every time and no experience will ever make me change my mind.
I guess one of the best feelings will be if your best friend does feel the same way, I guess I was one of the lucky ones. “The best feeling is having your best friend and lover be the same person”. This means you can then begin to have this new relationship as lovers if you chose to do so. Again, I know people who have done this and it has worked amazingly for them, still being together this many years afterwards. On the other hand, like all relationships, sometimes it just doesn't work and there is nothing we can really do about it, despite our greatest whims. “I accidentally fell in love with my best friend and now we don't talk any more. It breaks my heart” Nothing can hurt more than this. It's absolutely heart shattering to hear that this happens to friendships and the worst thing is I don't even know how to try and fix it. When people break up, whether mutual or because something seriously went wrong, it is so much harder to move on when you still see each other and talk frequently. Take it from me, I spoke to my ex every single day after the break up as if we were still together, simply because we were still good friends, and I never moved on. So, when you break up – despite how hard you try, for your own good not being together as friends is easier. Harder in a way, but easier. “People who can still be friends after a relationship are either still in love or never were” I think the only advice I can give for people who may go through this or who have been through this is to think of the times that you did have, don't live in the past but cherish the memories. Remember that after you have both moved on and have found sincere happiness again, you can probably rebuild that friendship. It may not be the same, but it'll be there. Also, know that it wasn't your fault that it happened. Falling in love is very much out of everyone's control and it was just fates way of helping you grow and learn. You came out of it a lot stronger. You didn't lose a friendship, you really gained another part of your journey.
I never did date my best friend. Despite it being the same feelings both ways. I don't think I regret that the outcome happened to be this way, because we still get to be best friends everyday without having that chance I could have lost them. “Don't be attached to outcome, enjoy the journey” Looking back now, maybe it could have been the best thing that could have happened. Maybe sometimes I wish I could go back and change things. But I am sincerely happy with who I am right now. I am sincerely happy that I ended up falling in love with someone entirely different, who was never my best friend...but now they are closest best friend I have. It works out a lot better that way. I will always love my best friends. And I know they'll love me forever too.
Love is fucking weird man.
Go Nuts Guys.
Probably one of the most common questions I ever receive is about someone having fallen in love with their best friend and being unsure what to do about it. I've personally, had a best friend fall in love with me, maybe on more than one occasion. It always used to confuse because I had never fallen for one of my best friends before; so when these questions always used to flood in or I'd find myself in the middle of someone else’s uncontrollable hurricane of feelings – I used to think, I'm glad to an extent it's not me. Because what do you do in those situations? Some argue falling in love with your best friend is one of the most amazing things that could ever happen to you because it always works out perfectly, I know people like this who have been together for years. Personally, I have tried dating a best friend (despite not being in love) and it just doesn't work for me. So some argue that it doesn't work – and as an heart-breaking outcome, you lose your best friend. So...what the hell did I do?
I have been someone who always believes that if you like someone, you have to tell them. We have such short lives on a larger perspective; and to spend these lives on unsaid words and missed moments has to be such a waste of time. I never want to go through life knowing I missed a moment or left some words in the dust, despite the outcome I need to know either way. So with these situations, I always advise people to speak up. If you're best friends beforehand and they don't feel the same, the likelihood is that you'll still be friends afterwards, if they really care. If they didn't care and you guys weren't friends after you poured your heart out, then you need to question as to whether it was a true friendship. Words are so fucking amazing; these special moments we can seize with something so simplistic as 26 letters has intrigued me for as long as I can remember which is why I so badly want to be a writer. It can make such a massive change. This is the advise I give for these situations each and every time and no experience will ever make me change my mind.
I guess one of the best feelings will be if your best friend does feel the same way, I guess I was one of the lucky ones. “The best feeling is having your best friend and lover be the same person”. This means you can then begin to have this new relationship as lovers if you chose to do so. Again, I know people who have done this and it has worked amazingly for them, still being together this many years afterwards. On the other hand, like all relationships, sometimes it just doesn't work and there is nothing we can really do about it, despite our greatest whims. “I accidentally fell in love with my best friend and now we don't talk any more. It breaks my heart” Nothing can hurt more than this. It's absolutely heart shattering to hear that this happens to friendships and the worst thing is I don't even know how to try and fix it. When people break up, whether mutual or because something seriously went wrong, it is so much harder to move on when you still see each other and talk frequently. Take it from me, I spoke to my ex every single day after the break up as if we were still together, simply because we were still good friends, and I never moved on. So, when you break up – despite how hard you try, for your own good not being together as friends is easier. Harder in a way, but easier. “People who can still be friends after a relationship are either still in love or never were” I think the only advice I can give for people who may go through this or who have been through this is to think of the times that you did have, don't live in the past but cherish the memories. Remember that after you have both moved on and have found sincere happiness again, you can probably rebuild that friendship. It may not be the same, but it'll be there. Also, know that it wasn't your fault that it happened. Falling in love is very much out of everyone's control and it was just fates way of helping you grow and learn. You came out of it a lot stronger. You didn't lose a friendship, you really gained another part of your journey.
I never did date my best friend. Despite it being the same feelings both ways. I don't think I regret that the outcome happened to be this way, because we still get to be best friends everyday without having that chance I could have lost them. “Don't be attached to outcome, enjoy the journey” Looking back now, maybe it could have been the best thing that could have happened. Maybe sometimes I wish I could go back and change things. But I am sincerely happy with who I am right now. I am sincerely happy that I ended up falling in love with someone entirely different, who was never my best friend...but now they are closest best friend I have. It works out a lot better that way. I will always love my best friends. And I know they'll love me forever too.
Love is fucking weird man.
Go Nuts Guys.