We grow up watching fairy -tales and reading Jacqueline Wilson books expecting the most out of relationships. That magical "love at first site" and being "swept off your feet", the beautiful, flawless wedding dress and of course that "happily ever after"
It's all bullshit.
Okay, well most of it. The fairy-tale story part is partial correct - but it won't be about the stories you read in books or watch dance across your screens. It'll be your love story.
When I found my partner it wasn't love at first site. Neither was it love at second site, or third or fourth or fifth. I met him countless numbers of times before I actually got to know him properly. I didn't wake up in the morning singing about finding the one with birds and rabbits prancing around my room, majestically stitching a dress together with material from nowhere.
It was just another day. I wasn't "swept off my feet" either. There wasn't one moment where I realized "there's my prince" - he was merely a guy that I knew vaguely and he was, that first time I noticed, very good looking. The start of my fairy-tale was individual to me - I never knew it at the time but that's just how it was going to go.
So, if you don't experience the "love at first site" feeling - that's okay - your story wasn't supposed to start like that. Don't feel you need to walk past 5 or 6 times either because your story won't be like mine.
Now I am comfortably in a relationship and have done so for nearly a year I still dream of those fairy-tale experiences I read in my books. We all expect so much from our partners that they can barely keep up with our ever demanding whims. The worst part is, we'll get upset when they don't do something that we expect them to do. Which is a terrible flaw we all possess. Because we have been reading these words splattered across pages and have watched these animations swirl across the TV - we have created such high expectations of love. We have grown up with these images all our lives so it's a very hard reality to receive a punch from when you do fall in love.
It's nothing like how you ever imagined it be - and I'd hope like me you were to find that it was a lot better than anything you had ever read.
I realized this all the other day, when my best friend unknowingly gave me some good advice. I have started my exams and had my first of what seems like thousands the other day. From other relationships that I had inspected, I had gathered an expectation that I would receive a massive hug and a hug fuss that I was okay, calm and ready and of course a fluster of good lucks from my partner. Except - that I didn't. Upon telling him I was nervous he responded:
"Just have a big poo - you'll feel alright after that"
Of course I was annoyed. But when I told my best friend this she just fluently responded "Yeah, but that's just your relationship" And that's when I realized that we all have our own individual fairy-tales. Our own relationships. Not one will be identical to anybody else. My relationship is fun and exciting - we're like best friends. We can be romantic but for us that adds pressure sometimes and we just like to relax and be ourselves - most of all we like to laugh. And I don't have to have a romantic relationship where he cares about every single antic I do - I don't have to be "swept of my feet" or have a magical happily ever after to be happy right now.
I have accepted that this might not last forever, we really can't escape the inevitable, but how I feel right now and he makes me feel is the most important thing next to having fun.
So - next time you're upset because you haven't experienced your fairy-tale or "met the one" or you have met the one and they aren't being a prince/princess - just remember that they don't know your expectations and they can only be the best they can be for you. You need to forget your expectations and just enjoy the love you have been given, because it doesn't happen to everyone and really that's magical within itself. So, stop hanging your hair out the window, stop kissing those frogs because I promise you...you'll have your own story someday. You've just got to find love your own way.
It's all bullshit.
Okay, well most of it. The fairy-tale story part is partial correct - but it won't be about the stories you read in books or watch dance across your screens. It'll be your love story.
When I found my partner it wasn't love at first site. Neither was it love at second site, or third or fourth or fifth. I met him countless numbers of times before I actually got to know him properly. I didn't wake up in the morning singing about finding the one with birds and rabbits prancing around my room, majestically stitching a dress together with material from nowhere.
It was just another day. I wasn't "swept off my feet" either. There wasn't one moment where I realized "there's my prince" - he was merely a guy that I knew vaguely and he was, that first time I noticed, very good looking. The start of my fairy-tale was individual to me - I never knew it at the time but that's just how it was going to go.
So, if you don't experience the "love at first site" feeling - that's okay - your story wasn't supposed to start like that. Don't feel you need to walk past 5 or 6 times either because your story won't be like mine.
Now I am comfortably in a relationship and have done so for nearly a year I still dream of those fairy-tale experiences I read in my books. We all expect so much from our partners that they can barely keep up with our ever demanding whims. The worst part is, we'll get upset when they don't do something that we expect them to do. Which is a terrible flaw we all possess. Because we have been reading these words splattered across pages and have watched these animations swirl across the TV - we have created such high expectations of love. We have grown up with these images all our lives so it's a very hard reality to receive a punch from when you do fall in love.
It's nothing like how you ever imagined it be - and I'd hope like me you were to find that it was a lot better than anything you had ever read.
I realized this all the other day, when my best friend unknowingly gave me some good advice. I have started my exams and had my first of what seems like thousands the other day. From other relationships that I had inspected, I had gathered an expectation that I would receive a massive hug and a hug fuss that I was okay, calm and ready and of course a fluster of good lucks from my partner. Except - that I didn't. Upon telling him I was nervous he responded:
"Just have a big poo - you'll feel alright after that"
Of course I was annoyed. But when I told my best friend this she just fluently responded "Yeah, but that's just your relationship" And that's when I realized that we all have our own individual fairy-tales. Our own relationships. Not one will be identical to anybody else. My relationship is fun and exciting - we're like best friends. We can be romantic but for us that adds pressure sometimes and we just like to relax and be ourselves - most of all we like to laugh. And I don't have to have a romantic relationship where he cares about every single antic I do - I don't have to be "swept of my feet" or have a magical happily ever after to be happy right now.
I have accepted that this might not last forever, we really can't escape the inevitable, but how I feel right now and he makes me feel is the most important thing next to having fun.
So - next time you're upset because you haven't experienced your fairy-tale or "met the one" or you have met the one and they aren't being a prince/princess - just remember that they don't know your expectations and they can only be the best they can be for you. You need to forget your expectations and just enjoy the love you have been given, because it doesn't happen to everyone and really that's magical within itself. So, stop hanging your hair out the window, stop kissing those frogs because I promise you...you'll have your own story someday. You've just got to find love your own way.