"Happiness depends upon ourselves" is one of the motivational quotes plastered across my wall to help me stop procrastinating when it comes to revision for my exams. But the more I think about it, the wider meaning it has to me personally. Revising for my exams now and doing well is going to help with my happiness in the future, getting the right job so I never have to work a day in my life and therefore being economically stable to explore the world as I wish to do. But what is dependent on my happiness right now? Because revision isn't cutting it for me.
Happiness can depend on a lot of things, the following are those that I have picked up on: hobbies, family, friendship, school, lovers and those guilty pleasures. There are more individual headings than just these but they are the main ones I'd like to talk about.
Hobbies are something that you loved doing, primarily being a sport. Perhaps you do it once a week or maybe even twice. It gives you something to look forward to and some stability in your life. For me, it's dancing. I am not doing so much now with exams and my dance class outside of school was recently cancelled so I am in the process of looking for a new one. Dance for me is way of escape, to do something I love and to do something I'm good at makes me happy and also even better, keeps me fit. Without dance I'd probably be rolling everywhere instead of walking with the mountains of crap I eat each day. For years I've been doing dance and it has given me that stability in life, a starting point to always go back to and it's something that can never leave me so I will always have it there. It's good for to find a hobby if you don't have one, try out loads of new things - have something in your week that you get excited for because you need that excitement in your life to remain a healthy emotional being.
Family - you can't choose them so you have to live with them. For me, this heading isn't so important as I would desire it to be. My family have never really been super close which is considerably considering my family is really small. We all live worlds apart and for me that's okay because that's what I have been brought up with. But it's nice to know I have people always there waiting for me at home to ask me how my exams went and to pick me up when things don't go too well. If you have a family you're close to, then you're extremely lucky and you should never take this for granted - you have to remember that these people are those who are going to love you for the rest of your life no matter how many idiotic choices you make. One day, I hope to have a really big family - I wanted to experience the atmosphere I never could when I was younger and that again, makes me happy. It should make you happy too!
Friends - thank God you can choose them eh? Coming from someone who doesn't have a lot of friends I can't stress how important they are. You need that one person you can tell everyone to, you don't have to get embarrassed or shy. Because sometimes holding everything in can start an emotional hurricane in your brain and the best way of relief is through telling a best friend, or even a good friend. However, I want to talk about those friends who perhaps - don't make you happy. They once did but they have changed and you not really sure how to go about handling the situation. It's okay to cut someone out of your life if they are not making you happy. They are going to understand because chances are they are feeling the same way. You don't need this kind of people, trust me. To be happy, you need to be around people that are making you happy.
Lovers. Many of you will have them and many of you will not. I can tell you that it doesn't matter which of those statuses you have because you can be happy either way! So many single people tell me they wish they could find someone because being single is so "sad". Being single is not sad - being single just means you haven't found someone with the same compatible weirdness as you yet and that's okay. Stop looking for love, just let it come to you. Because chances are if you're looking for it, you're looking for the wrong things, trust me we've all been there. For anyone else to love you, you need to learn to love yourself. And I know it hurts, I have felt the heartbreaks and the pain of rejection and loss. It fucking stings. But that's just one more sting before you finally find the one who isn't going to hurt you, and you'll thank me for waiting. On the other hand, if you are in a relationship. Do not, I stress so much that you should not let someone become you're everything, become some close to you that without them you are not sure who you are anymore. Because what if one day they decide to get up and leave, taking every part of you with them? What's going to be left for you to pick up the pieces? Furthermore, what if you aren't happy? What if you don't want to be in a relationship where they are sat right next to you yet feel like they're twerking on the moon? How will you ever build up the courage to leave that relationship when you know they have everything you ever were and ever will be? Make sure you are content with yourself, make sure you know what you want out of it. A life-long commitment, an adventure, a bit of fun - before you cast aside every atom of yourself for the hope of being loved by someone who in the end might not be the one.
Lastly, school. Which brings me back to the motivational quote "happiness depends upon ourselves" and beforehand, for me, that meant revising and doing well in my exams. This is what school is designed for. But remember, that one day you're going to be watching your children skip across the playground thinking "those were the best days of my life." So make the most of it, yeah do well - but have fun whilst doing it. These days and places and people have defined you and without all of it you wouldn't be the person you are today and the person you are going to grow up to be.
So, all those headings can make you happy - but who is the person to put it all in place?
Who is the person that gets to stretch that smile across their face?
You.
Happiness truly does depend on ourselves. So smile people, the world is your playground and these...are the best days of our lives.
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