What if? You can't ever help but sometimes think...what if? A friend asked me this today and I found myself getting rather angry; I mean yeah what if? But we can't change the past and thinking about what would have happened only makes the future seem worse. And I smiled at his inevitable reply...”but we can change the future.”
There's a lot of things that have happened in the past that I am sure we all wish we could just hop into a time machine and go back and change; but that's the thing – we can't. So instead we sit around and ponder over the alternatives, what if I had said or did this? What if she/he had said or did this that? What if I could go back and change my mind? It's a habit that none of us will be able to escape, I know I won't - it's something I do everyday without realizing and it's not healthy for you. I have spoke about it before, reflecting on the past, specifically mistakes or people you can't get back – it makes harder to focus on the future and designing it for yourself.
I guess I got so angry because it I felt it was mean for somebody to enforce a “what if” on me when I can't do anything to change the past. What if what if what if, our lives are full of what ifs but we can't ever get the past back – it'll never catch up with us in order for us to make changes. It's gone; but not in the way where it doesn't haunt you. “That was a long time ago, but it's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out” - The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosselini. I feel that reflecting on the past hinders the future and as my friend said...you can change the future.
So I decided that instead of looking at a what if in the past tense and in a negative way...to start looking at in the present. What if you did or said this tomorrow? What if he/she did or said this? Start taking chances instead of mourning over the missed ones. Whenever I give someone I advice I normally say “what do you have to lose?” and they respond by railing off a list of pointless things. YES BUT WHAT IF? Take that chance because otherwise it's just going to be another past tense, negative what if that you are struggling to forget; and that sucks just take my word for it. You can shape the future like play-dough – it's up to you to find your way and to reach that happiness. We need to stop sitting around kissing the moments we don't have any more instead of making out with the future! (Worst analogy ever!)
So what if things don't go exactly the way you had hoped they would; not everything will. At least you took that chance and you're going to feel great about doing so. I am not just telling you this, I did it myself recently. I took a chance, a risk, just a little hop to the top and I didn't get the exact outcome I hoped for but I think just getting those words out there made me feel so much better than what I actually intended the words to be for. It made me feel better as it was a sign of letting the past remain in the past. We can't bury it or forget it...but we can leave it where it belongs, where it can't touch us, where we can be drenched in everything that is and will be.
What if I had done this or said that or kissed him or never met her or stayed here or moved there...WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF. Let's replace the past with...so what? So what we didn't say that sentence or so what you didn't do your best in the exam...SO WHAT. Let's save our “what if”'s for what matters...tomorrow and next week and next month. I want you all to think of one big what if for tomorrow and do it – take that risk. If it doesn't turn out the way you expected then SO WHAT it. Life wasn't designed for wearing a helmet and following the rules. Hearts were meant to broken, rules were made to be disobeyed and words were created to be said.
Maybe it's just me...but what if it was you as well?
GOOD LUCK!
There's a lot of things that have happened in the past that I am sure we all wish we could just hop into a time machine and go back and change; but that's the thing – we can't. So instead we sit around and ponder over the alternatives, what if I had said or did this? What if she/he had said or did this that? What if I could go back and change my mind? It's a habit that none of us will be able to escape, I know I won't - it's something I do everyday without realizing and it's not healthy for you. I have spoke about it before, reflecting on the past, specifically mistakes or people you can't get back – it makes harder to focus on the future and designing it for yourself.
I guess I got so angry because it I felt it was mean for somebody to enforce a “what if” on me when I can't do anything to change the past. What if what if what if, our lives are full of what ifs but we can't ever get the past back – it'll never catch up with us in order for us to make changes. It's gone; but not in the way where it doesn't haunt you. “That was a long time ago, but it's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out” - The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosselini. I feel that reflecting on the past hinders the future and as my friend said...you can change the future.
So I decided that instead of looking at a what if in the past tense and in a negative way...to start looking at in the present. What if you did or said this tomorrow? What if he/she did or said this? Start taking chances instead of mourning over the missed ones. Whenever I give someone I advice I normally say “what do you have to lose?” and they respond by railing off a list of pointless things. YES BUT WHAT IF? Take that chance because otherwise it's just going to be another past tense, negative what if that you are struggling to forget; and that sucks just take my word for it. You can shape the future like play-dough – it's up to you to find your way and to reach that happiness. We need to stop sitting around kissing the moments we don't have any more instead of making out with the future! (Worst analogy ever!)
So what if things don't go exactly the way you had hoped they would; not everything will. At least you took that chance and you're going to feel great about doing so. I am not just telling you this, I did it myself recently. I took a chance, a risk, just a little hop to the top and I didn't get the exact outcome I hoped for but I think just getting those words out there made me feel so much better than what I actually intended the words to be for. It made me feel better as it was a sign of letting the past remain in the past. We can't bury it or forget it...but we can leave it where it belongs, where it can't touch us, where we can be drenched in everything that is and will be.
What if I had done this or said that or kissed him or never met her or stayed here or moved there...WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF. Let's replace the past with...so what? So what we didn't say that sentence or so what you didn't do your best in the exam...SO WHAT. Let's save our “what if”'s for what matters...tomorrow and next week and next month. I want you all to think of one big what if for tomorrow and do it – take that risk. If it doesn't turn out the way you expected then SO WHAT it. Life wasn't designed for wearing a helmet and following the rules. Hearts were meant to broken, rules were made to be disobeyed and words were created to be said.
Maybe it's just me...but what if it was you as well?
GOOD LUCK!