Isn't it so weird? How one second, somebody is here and they are alive, with emotions and feelings they can communicate to you with words or a facial expressions. And then the next minute, they're not. Just like that. Merely a blink of an eye, everything someone is can just be washed away; in a sudden wave or a gradual whirlpool. It never really hit me, just how independent our lives our from our control. We think we're driving forward to what we want to be and how we want to get there, but we're not. Because tomorrow I could die.
I've only ever been a car accident once before today, when I was 4 or 5; and I honestly cannot remember a single thing about the accident except the impact hit the back of the car and my Mum was very concerned about my well-being, emotionally and physically. I don't think it really occurred to me until today just how petrifying that must have been for my parents, whether the impact was a huge smash or a tiny little bump, I was sat cluelessly in the back seat, probably nomming on a Kit Kat, knowing only wonders about life. It was probably terrifying most specially for my Mother, whom had previously been in a Car Crash that left her needing braces as her teeth had been knocked out of place, whilst holding her baby Nephew. Some quotes about Car Crashes are "My very best friend died in a car accident when I was 16 years old. That was the hardest blow emotionally that I have ever had to endure. Suddenly, you realize tomorrow might not come. Now I live by the motto, 'Today is what I have.'" and "In August of 2002, I survived a car accident. Although I can still see the van speeding toward us, I cannot bring to mind the crash itself - only its aftermath." So the two things I've learnt is 1. You'll never forget it, and 2. It teaches you just how precious life is.
There are things that go through your head when you experience life-changing situations like this, whether large or small; one of them obviously being "Am I going to die?" I think the biggest one for me was thinking "There are so many people whom I haven't told I loved them today" and it was an horrific feeling to think I was leaving them all behind without them truly knowing I cared. And that's one of the biggest changes I have bought away from this incident, is that I need to be more open about my feelings and people I love deserve to know that you love them. Whether clingy or needy or cheesy, it's something that, with situations like this, you just don't know when it'll be the last time you say it. Another thing is, leaving those people behind. I think that may have been the biggest fear of my Mums, was the idea that she was going to leave me behind, or I was going to leave her behind under her supervision potentially. I couldn't really face the fact I could possible leave and not come back. So, it's not only that your life is precious because you're living it and you're driving it to some place, it's precious because there are people whom love you and would be heartbroken to know your words no longer exist in the present, but a memory. And if that's not enough to make anyone think twice about the way we treat people or approach life, I don't know what is.
All of that occurs in someone's brain right before the impact, I feel like during the event it's a matter of hope and time. Sometimes, when your life flashes before your eyes it continues on forever. I once had a friend who stepped out in front of a car by accident and was really shook up as she described that her life had literally flashed before her eyes moments before it was potentially ripped from her. On a relatable note, I once had a friend whom stepped out in front of a motorbike by accident and all my memories with her flashed before my eyes seconds before I even attempted to grab her and she jumped back. Everything seems to spin by in slow motion and I think in those few seconds, where the whole world seemed to be spinning during the impact, it occurred to me I hadn't done anything yet worth remembering me for. Was I worthy for my name to never be spoken for the last time? I don't want to ever want to reach the end of my life and watch a time-reel that's pathetic and really not showing any life spent well. People don't believe that life really flashes before your eyes, but when your hearts on edge when that life-changing event occurs, it comes as no surprise that everything and anything makes one last appearance before you make your last.
"What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver. So that you all know, I am alright and the people that were in the car with me are alright and it wasn't my drivers fault at all, 100%. It just goes to show how most drivers are careless and reckless and drive without the understanding that their stupidity causes real damage to peoples lives - and unsurprisingly it goes to the extent that people are killed. Between 2000 and 2010 approximately 44,800 people died in a car accident. This blog isn't only about making people aware how precious life is, it's about raising awareness of safe driving. Be fucking careful.
And as for everyone else, how DO you plan to live your one wild and precious life? Because I know that I am now going to live life even fuller than before, by not leaving words left unsaid, going after every dream and aspiration even if I am doomed to fail, not wasting time being sad over ridiculous things because I do only have one life. And we don't know when that next bus or car is coming. Because there might not be a tomorrow. So what are you going to do today to make it all worth it?
"I don't want to die in a car accident. When I die it'll be a glorious day. It'll probably be a waterfall." - River Phoenix
Useful Links related to this blog:
https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/
http://think.direct.gov.uk/
http://www.drivesafe.org.uk/Pages/default.aspx
I've only ever been a car accident once before today, when I was 4 or 5; and I honestly cannot remember a single thing about the accident except the impact hit the back of the car and my Mum was very concerned about my well-being, emotionally and physically. I don't think it really occurred to me until today just how petrifying that must have been for my parents, whether the impact was a huge smash or a tiny little bump, I was sat cluelessly in the back seat, probably nomming on a Kit Kat, knowing only wonders about life. It was probably terrifying most specially for my Mother, whom had previously been in a Car Crash that left her needing braces as her teeth had been knocked out of place, whilst holding her baby Nephew. Some quotes about Car Crashes are "My very best friend died in a car accident when I was 16 years old. That was the hardest blow emotionally that I have ever had to endure. Suddenly, you realize tomorrow might not come. Now I live by the motto, 'Today is what I have.'" and "In August of 2002, I survived a car accident. Although I can still see the van speeding toward us, I cannot bring to mind the crash itself - only its aftermath." So the two things I've learnt is 1. You'll never forget it, and 2. It teaches you just how precious life is.
There are things that go through your head when you experience life-changing situations like this, whether large or small; one of them obviously being "Am I going to die?" I think the biggest one for me was thinking "There are so many people whom I haven't told I loved them today" and it was an horrific feeling to think I was leaving them all behind without them truly knowing I cared. And that's one of the biggest changes I have bought away from this incident, is that I need to be more open about my feelings and people I love deserve to know that you love them. Whether clingy or needy or cheesy, it's something that, with situations like this, you just don't know when it'll be the last time you say it. Another thing is, leaving those people behind. I think that may have been the biggest fear of my Mums, was the idea that she was going to leave me behind, or I was going to leave her behind under her supervision potentially. I couldn't really face the fact I could possible leave and not come back. So, it's not only that your life is precious because you're living it and you're driving it to some place, it's precious because there are people whom love you and would be heartbroken to know your words no longer exist in the present, but a memory. And if that's not enough to make anyone think twice about the way we treat people or approach life, I don't know what is.
All of that occurs in someone's brain right before the impact, I feel like during the event it's a matter of hope and time. Sometimes, when your life flashes before your eyes it continues on forever. I once had a friend who stepped out in front of a car by accident and was really shook up as she described that her life had literally flashed before her eyes moments before it was potentially ripped from her. On a relatable note, I once had a friend whom stepped out in front of a motorbike by accident and all my memories with her flashed before my eyes seconds before I even attempted to grab her and she jumped back. Everything seems to spin by in slow motion and I think in those few seconds, where the whole world seemed to be spinning during the impact, it occurred to me I hadn't done anything yet worth remembering me for. Was I worthy for my name to never be spoken for the last time? I don't want to ever want to reach the end of my life and watch a time-reel that's pathetic and really not showing any life spent well. People don't believe that life really flashes before your eyes, but when your hearts on edge when that life-changing event occurs, it comes as no surprise that everything and anything makes one last appearance before you make your last.
"What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver. So that you all know, I am alright and the people that were in the car with me are alright and it wasn't my drivers fault at all, 100%. It just goes to show how most drivers are careless and reckless and drive without the understanding that their stupidity causes real damage to peoples lives - and unsurprisingly it goes to the extent that people are killed. Between 2000 and 2010 approximately 44,800 people died in a car accident. This blog isn't only about making people aware how precious life is, it's about raising awareness of safe driving. Be fucking careful.
And as for everyone else, how DO you plan to live your one wild and precious life? Because I know that I am now going to live life even fuller than before, by not leaving words left unsaid, going after every dream and aspiration even if I am doomed to fail, not wasting time being sad over ridiculous things because I do only have one life. And we don't know when that next bus or car is coming. Because there might not be a tomorrow. So what are you going to do today to make it all worth it?
"I don't want to die in a car accident. When I die it'll be a glorious day. It'll probably be a waterfall." - River Phoenix
Useful Links related to this blog:
https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/
http://think.direct.gov.uk/
http://www.drivesafe.org.uk/Pages/default.aspx