Why do we do bad things? We all have different reasons for doing something that we consider to be bad. Normally, after you've accomplished whatever terrible thing you've done you more often than not feel regret and an immense amount of guilt. There have been times where I have felt so guilty and regretful that I could almost feel it eating me alive. However, sometimes we can do bad things and not feel bad about it. But how?
This has really been confusing me over the last few days because I did not understand how I could do something bad or say something negative and not have it effect me in the way other bad things have. I felt immoral to some extent because no matter how hard I forced myself to think about it over and over I still wasn't feeling regretful. I wasn't in a position to start apologizing and taking action for what I had done because I didn't feel I needed to. It wasn't that I didn't need to because of course I did, but I didn't want to. Now how can I feel this way and not be considered hugely immoral and a terrible being?
Firstly, I am not saying that I am not a bad person before I justify why I feel this way. Because of course I am and I know this because I have evaluated the situation over and over and if it were the latter I know I would be deeply upset. However, I do feel that I don't have to feel bad. I think that people can do bad things for justifiable reasons. Now, this was something I never really believed in before, I felt that if someone had done something bad it was deeply wrong and people should be aware of how wrong it is and take responsible and feel that regret. But now I have looked further into different situations and different things that have been said and the story behind them, I know that bad things aren't always done by bad people.
Now, why did I do something bad and not feel swayed by it? It took me a really, really long time to figure this out but now that I have a huge immense of relief has washed over me and I feel like I am in a position now to be able to take responsibility and further control any things said or any actions taken in the future now that I now the drive behind my feelings. This is an important thing to consider I feel if you ever find yourself in a similar place to me. Once you've found the stimulus to all your actions you can then begin to pick that about and control to your whims.
The reason I didn't feel bad about doing something bad was because I knew I could get away it. Now this isn't the kind of 'get away with it' where it's all “I can get away with it so I am going do it,g great awesome no one will know I am so excited” kind of thinking. It's the type where I know I can get away with it and that's what angers me. Because if I can get away with doing something bad it makes me feel like that person who it has indirectly effected doesn't care. As if it were they wouldn't get away with it and I would be upset, but the fact I can get away with it without being hit with a whirlwind of anger or sadness makes me really upset and annoyed. So the reason I have done bad things and said negative words is because I am doing it for attention, I am doing it to force the rule that I can't get away with it anymore. This is a very selfish act because I do feel like I am craving attention in all the wrong ways. But it's just me wanting to be cared about and having failed trying the easy way, I am taking the hard way out.
Now, obviously this reason isn't going to be the same with everyone who happens to do something bad and not feel remorse. But once I understood the concept through my own feelings I began to open up more towards people who do bad things towards myself. I now understand there is something hidden drive, obviously not with everyone, that causes someone to do something or say something I don't like. Instead of being upset and ignoring them and overreacting because of whatever they've done, I am going to focus on trying to get the cause of why they've done something and I am talking primary cause not secondary because once you've found stimulus you can control it.
In terms of my problems, I have realised the best way to get someone's attention is to stop wanting it anymore. I know I have done bad things and said bad things, but I am not bad person. And people who have done or said bad things to me aren't bad people either. We are all humans and we all feel things and have had things done to us that drive us to a point where we don't feel bad about being bad. And this isn't something we should keep beating ourselves up for anymore. We need to focus on being healthy, happy and cared for.
Thank you. Go Nuts Guys.