“Close your eyes. Close your heart. Let go” I know I dwell on this concept quite a lot, the whole process of letting go and accepting this, but I have a serious writers block and this is the current process I am learning right now. So I thought I would share my thoughts with you on...how maybe, just maybe letting people go is okay. You're allowed.
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar” I feel that quite personally that this quote is more or less 100% true to our nature, we fear the unknown. We have been so used to these same emotions and this same routine and without it all there, life is going to be different; and that is going to be hard – there is no denying that. The suffering we feel, the whole ache of holding on to someone who isn't there any more makes us feel these small comfort inside – that something is still the same. However, we need to shake this out of our systems because things aren't the same. We fail to accept change for the greater good because we're too busy focusing on the small bruise on the inside to notice how the world looks so much brighter. We also need to realize that things aren't ever going to be the same again, this is my biggest trouble; I always hold out hope that one day time is just going to reverse everything and anyone and everyone I have ever lost will come bounding back with arms wide open. It's all a lost dream. Instead of mourning over false imagery, start admiring all the real imagery around you – look at all the open doors this person has left you. No one should ever want to suffer, ever; all reach for something beyond the unknown – for if we have never made a mistake in life then we have never tried something new.
It's the same concept really as the idea that we don't want to be the people that let go because then we'd be the person putting ourselves in pain. If the other person left first then it would be their fault as to why you're so hurt. This idea revolved around my head for weeks before I lost someone – I never had the guts to leave first because I would be in pain for months and it would be all my fault, right? Eventually he left and now it's his fault. However, in the end, did that make me feel any better? I had just magnified the pain by a thousand times more than it could have been if I had just pulled the courage up to let go. There will be pain and it will hurt there is no denying that but it's not something we should look upon in a negative way – don't think about the fact they have gone, think back at the times they were here and be grateful. “Hold on to spinning around, confetti falls to the ground, may these memories break our fall” This is the most important factor – you need to understand that just because they have gone it doesn't mean you can't keep living, it's just that their chapter in your story is over.
“Letting go doesn't mean you've stopped caring, it just means you've stopped forcing others to” For a really long time, even right up to this day, I thought I could force somebody to care for me the way they used to, but I never could because that just wasn't there any more; and the hardest thing about letting go is realizing the other person already did. But I really don't want to view this in a negative way – you haven't stopped caring. "Loving someone is setting them free. Letting them go” And that is exactly what I am going to do. And be happy about doing so; as we should all be. Life is fucking crazy and sometimes it can hurt like a bitch. But “long live all the walls we crashed through” relive those memories and be grateful for every god damn second – I am going to miss dearly those people I let go because they were such a huge part of my life and I am going to love them with every inch of my being for the rest of my life. But some people just don't want to be held on to...and that's okay. Letting go is okay.
One of my favourite quotes in the entire world is “I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you” which shamefully is a Taylor Swift song, but it seriously sums up the way I feel about letting go. I did have the time of my life and now it's just time to move on to the next part of this story, we should be excited. I don't regret a moment of my life with these people, just some things are never meant to be no matter how much we wish they were. Letting go doesn't mean you don't love them so...maybe, just maybe; letting people go is okay. Long live.
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