In the shower where I do my most intensive thinking, an odd thought occurred to me as I was recollecting through the last through months. Can make-up or the way we dress act as a metaphorical mask to hide the feelings we actually possess? And do our metaphorical masks actually work?
A few weeks ago, I wore dark red lipstick to my 'therapy' session. Normally for these sessions I had dressed in leggings and a baggy jumper, my hair was thrown up in a bun and my make up was abysmal because I just didn't have time in the morning. However for this session I had found myself with a little bit more time to get ready so I left my hair down in it's natural afro-like state and applied lipstick. My 'therapist' said "Wow, I've never seen you like this. Are you sending off some defiant message? Red is such a striking colour?" And it didn't really hit me at first, I kind of just thought - wow this lady is just picking out random trivial things about my life and trying to make them serious. I replied I just had more time and until now I've believed that to be the truth. How can red lipstick send off a defiant message? It's not warning people away, it's just I had time to put it on, right?
However, the way we present ourselves sometimes can be perceived as our metaphorical masks, right? Like putting on a fake smile. So putting this to the test I dressed better for my 'therapy' sessions and immediately my 'therapist' thought I was having a good few weeks and everything had got better because I dressed well and I had time to put make up on. It made me laugh a little bit at the reality of the situation, that a little bit of gloss or well-brushed hair can give off this impression that you are a happy and healthy human being. But that's not true. Someone who dresses well can have just as many problems as someone who has decided to wear their pyjamas to school? Then it hit me. We don't realize just how many people are feeling down or different to the way they portray themselves because we immediately assume they are okay because they had time to look good this morning, or they are smiling with their friends in their new shoes or their new hairdo. And it's not like that at all. We all wear metaphorical masks and I didn't realize just how much depth people go to really mask their true feelings.
And it surprised my 'therapist' to find out that I actually wasn't feeling okay and beyond that she ignored the outer image I had created for myself from then on and I feel that maybe this is something we should do for people we know personally. Now I don't mean to start questioning everybody like "are you okay?" "you look so good today so you must be depressed" kind of thing. I just mean that if you have that slight knowledge that someone isn't okay of you know that someone has been through a rough time recently, it may actually make their day for you to ask them if they are okay? And the more they speak to you the more you can see through the metaphorical mask they are wearing and you will no longer just see that good-looking person, you'll see who they are. And that's the most beautiful thing about a person right? Not their make up or hair or clothes they are wearing - but who they are. So it's also not just about asking people if they are alright, it's about appreciating people for their personality as well. Because someone could look like the sexiest human being and yet be the biggest twat you know. It's an important thing to get to know people beyond all that hairspray.
So, thinking of advice I could give from this random idea I received in the shower is that also along with asking people if they are okay and looking beyond that outer image, we should also consider they way we present ourselves. Not our make up etc but the way we actually come across. If we are always hiding behind these metaphorical masks and no one realises then we are going to be hidden from who we really are for our entire lives and we only have one shot at this. So I really think we should sit down and think about:
- the foundation we apply to our minds, are we thinking positively? Are we regularly taking times for ourselves in order not to get stressed?
- the mascara we apply to our hearts, are we loving to our full capacity? Do we love ourselves? Are we making sure we leave no words unsaid?
- the blush we apply to our lungs, are we getting enough excersize? Are we eating right? Are we drinking enough water?
- the moisturiser we apply to our self-esteem, are we growing in confidence? Are we trying new things everyday? Are we talking to people and maintaining those friendships?
- the lipstick we apply to our ambitions and dreams, are we going somewhere? Are we having fun? Are we making every day worth it? Are we making memories that'll last forever?
Metaphorical masks are great for hiding how you feel. And many people, even the professionals cannot see right past that. We have one life and we only have one shot, unless you're a cat, so I reckon we need to spend last time under these false pretensions and have fun just being us and creating ourselves. If you need to throw a fake smile around here and there just to get through a bad day then cool, but don't overuse it because how will you ever get better? So I advise everyone to take off these masks and just...be confident. All my love!
(P.s - I am not suggesting you literally take of your make-up and clothes and stop washing and shit, it was an extended metaphor. Oh the joy of english! Congrats on mocks, hope you all did fantastically!)
A few weeks ago, I wore dark red lipstick to my 'therapy' session. Normally for these sessions I had dressed in leggings and a baggy jumper, my hair was thrown up in a bun and my make up was abysmal because I just didn't have time in the morning. However for this session I had found myself with a little bit more time to get ready so I left my hair down in it's natural afro-like state and applied lipstick. My 'therapist' said "Wow, I've never seen you like this. Are you sending off some defiant message? Red is such a striking colour?" And it didn't really hit me at first, I kind of just thought - wow this lady is just picking out random trivial things about my life and trying to make them serious. I replied I just had more time and until now I've believed that to be the truth. How can red lipstick send off a defiant message? It's not warning people away, it's just I had time to put it on, right?
However, the way we present ourselves sometimes can be perceived as our metaphorical masks, right? Like putting on a fake smile. So putting this to the test I dressed better for my 'therapy' sessions and immediately my 'therapist' thought I was having a good few weeks and everything had got better because I dressed well and I had time to put make up on. It made me laugh a little bit at the reality of the situation, that a little bit of gloss or well-brushed hair can give off this impression that you are a happy and healthy human being. But that's not true. Someone who dresses well can have just as many problems as someone who has decided to wear their pyjamas to school? Then it hit me. We don't realize just how many people are feeling down or different to the way they portray themselves because we immediately assume they are okay because they had time to look good this morning, or they are smiling with their friends in their new shoes or their new hairdo. And it's not like that at all. We all wear metaphorical masks and I didn't realize just how much depth people go to really mask their true feelings.
And it surprised my 'therapist' to find out that I actually wasn't feeling okay and beyond that she ignored the outer image I had created for myself from then on and I feel that maybe this is something we should do for people we know personally. Now I don't mean to start questioning everybody like "are you okay?" "you look so good today so you must be depressed" kind of thing. I just mean that if you have that slight knowledge that someone isn't okay of you know that someone has been through a rough time recently, it may actually make their day for you to ask them if they are okay? And the more they speak to you the more you can see through the metaphorical mask they are wearing and you will no longer just see that good-looking person, you'll see who they are. And that's the most beautiful thing about a person right? Not their make up or hair or clothes they are wearing - but who they are. So it's also not just about asking people if they are alright, it's about appreciating people for their personality as well. Because someone could look like the sexiest human being and yet be the biggest twat you know. It's an important thing to get to know people beyond all that hairspray.
So, thinking of advice I could give from this random idea I received in the shower is that also along with asking people if they are okay and looking beyond that outer image, we should also consider they way we present ourselves. Not our make up etc but the way we actually come across. If we are always hiding behind these metaphorical masks and no one realises then we are going to be hidden from who we really are for our entire lives and we only have one shot at this. So I really think we should sit down and think about:
- the foundation we apply to our minds, are we thinking positively? Are we regularly taking times for ourselves in order not to get stressed?
- the mascara we apply to our hearts, are we loving to our full capacity? Do we love ourselves? Are we making sure we leave no words unsaid?
- the blush we apply to our lungs, are we getting enough excersize? Are we eating right? Are we drinking enough water?
- the moisturiser we apply to our self-esteem, are we growing in confidence? Are we trying new things everyday? Are we talking to people and maintaining those friendships?
- the lipstick we apply to our ambitions and dreams, are we going somewhere? Are we having fun? Are we making every day worth it? Are we making memories that'll last forever?
Metaphorical masks are great for hiding how you feel. And many people, even the professionals cannot see right past that. We have one life and we only have one shot, unless you're a cat, so I reckon we need to spend last time under these false pretensions and have fun just being us and creating ourselves. If you need to throw a fake smile around here and there just to get through a bad day then cool, but don't overuse it because how will you ever get better? So I advise everyone to take off these masks and just...be confident. All my love!
(P.s - I am not suggesting you literally take of your make-up and clothes and stop washing and shit, it was an extended metaphor. Oh the joy of english! Congrats on mocks, hope you all did fantastically!)